life after 21stMy daily rantings  

so cute isnt it ?

today was hectic for me. real tired, woke up early in the morning. Came along eng math followed by geomatic and lastly internet tech.managed to learn all the flash stuffs. thank to jimmy yeah (: if not i think i cant forget about it. hmmmmmmmm

stayed till quite late and went to ren ci to see grandpa. Grandma went home , feel abit sad but no choice. aunt bought us out for supper before heading back home. Ate cuttlefish mee hoon, i hate the peanuts and i love the cuttlefish. bouncy feeling. hahahaha.

i got my new eye candy ! jang geun seok ;sarangheyo 사 랑 해 요

exam is on monday ! and i gt to work tomorrow. am i pathetic? ahhhhhhhh

i need to pay my own hp bill, part of the electrical bill, transportation bill, food and other stuffs.

if everything is so important to u.... why let me come to this world? just kill me la.

whenever i'm feeling unhappy or frustrated, i like to blog.... i dont want to keep my feeling inside my heart. it feel like bursting out or sort of explode , but it cant. i feel so vexed. i hate living in this world. if you were to hate me. just say right in front of my face. why say behind my back?

i very tired of .... no friend no friends. who need friends. friends are not true to you. they only know how to make use of u. family members can do that. why friends wont? haiz.

I HATE MYSELF. I HATE BEING HATED. I HATE LIVING IN THIS WORLD, I HATE PEOPLE WHO SCOLD ME . I HATE I HATE I HATE.

let me tell you something seriously. fuck you. you are not worth to be my dad ! fuck fuck fuck. dont you say you got raise me up. you are not fit. i paid everything myself. you never paid for my sch fees. you never paid for my expenses. still expect me to pay this pay that. fuck la. all you think is money. You never intend to go out and work. Where the fuck you find money? cheebye.

hmmmm as days pass by . i keep wondering to myself. what i actually want? i really dont know myself . i'm so tired to carry on

i always see someone i dont wan to see. what am i scare of? i dont know myself

shit myself ! i can overslept for my quiz ( test ) for GEMS! i actually wanted to go take cab. Out of a sudden, my stomach was freaking pain that i have to go home . i really hate myself. haiz....forget it...even if i go for the test also cant score high marks .

i'm getting so stress up, i keep having nightmare everyday. haiz. i feel like giving up , but for the sake of my families and my aunt who help me pay 3000 plus already. i endured. i'm so tired of having to rush this rush that everyday. This feel week been a torture to me. haiz. ALot of xiao ren around me also.

this year is definately not a good year for me like wat the book say. its so true ! gong gong is still not well yet ! hope he recover soon

i finished my shining inheritance . its a wonderful ending. I love everything in there. so perfectly. so nice and beautiful (:

going to school now. miss lesson again. i'm so tired. i feel like i lost my soul and life and heart most importantly.

사 랑

i'm here again. so long never blog already. so busy with work and studies. ton and ton of report / presenatations to be completed. i wish time could turn back. I'll be a little kid with no worries. dont have to worry about anything. sometime i even wish i wasnt born in this world. There nothing that is worth for me to be alive for. Sometimes people say that family and friends are important? but to me , i feel so abandoned sometime. i dont know why... hmmmm i just feel people neglecting me. I feel so alone sometimes. HAIZ. friends piss me off the most. i just feel that i cant fit into my current class with all those guys irritating me everyday. I just hate them . the way they see me, they way they feel about me. i hate being "stared" at. But i know i cant do anything to solve this problem. I dont wish to solve it either, Cos i dun like them . Sometimes i feel being maked use of regardless of my own families or friends. I just feel so weary of this .

I got ton of stuffs yet to be completed which added to my headache right now. Grandfather is still not well yet. I really hope he can eat with us during new year. i miss the way he talk. cos he has not talked since 1/1/10 till now. he's suffering, adults say its better if he leave us. but i'm selfish. i dont want him to leave. but isnt it bringing suffering to him right? but i miss him , i really do. "gong gong" if you can hear me. can you please get well soon ! pls pls pls. i dont want u to leave us. We been travelling to the hospitals everyday. so tired.

if anyone know who's the guys i hate in class. please save me. i rather hate it. haiz. sometime i even feel like quitting school! i know i'm stupid. but its me. u dont have any rights to critcise me. haiz. enough !

i'm still good at mine korean lesson . HAHAHA. zhaochyi say my korean sounded much more like a korean than cedric ! haahhahaa. i wana start my driving lesson soon. THANK to my er yi (: